v's virtual vacuum
Thursday, Jul. 08, 2004
why does this feel so wrong?
From: "Benny"To: van@hotmail.com
Subject: RE:
Date: Thu, 08 Jul 2004 00:41:14 +0000
please tell me if I'm making things worse by bugging you with these e-mails - you know I'm not a bugger by nature ;)
I hope not, because I miss being in contact with you
just wanted to say nightie-night and hope you got nicely bladdered
xx
My reply:
I shall miss you terribly but I think this is the only way for me to cope.
I didn't actually have anything to drink in the end last night which is I think a good thing as I may not have woken up this morning if I had.
We've jsut exchanged emails with you at work and I know you're probably really hurting right now and I am sorry if you are but I hope you realise it's for the best
I can't help you live a lie because I am getting hurt by it all.
Stopping communication with you is very painful and is going to be very difficult but I think it's the only way I can move on. I've realised I depend on you too much and it's not fair on either of us especialy as you don't even realise how significant you are in my life. Neither of us can give the other everything we each deserve.
All I can say for now is thank you for all the friendship and love you have offered to me in the past and I am sorry for any pain this is causing.