Thursday, Jun. 16, 2005
hot tears on flushed cheeks
so tell me - why is it that when I am not going out with a particular male friend - I have no commitment to him - I dont WANT to be going out with him - I dont even fancy him but I do love him dearly. why. why, WHY is it that when he tells me he had a brief fling with someone I dont actually get upset but am a bit let down and then when he refuses to tell me who, I get cross? and is my jealousy misplaced? Its not that I want sex with him, more that I want sex! WHY am I such a girl? WHY the fuck do I not understand the whole girl/guy thing and why cant I deal with men? I feel really betrayed for some reason and it hurts and I hate that I feel like this because its not betrayal really. and in the grand shceme of things its no big deal. but it still fucking hurts and I want to curl up and cry and be stroked and hugged and loved. and I'm alone. and it sucks.
4:34 pm
and my toes
a brief run down.
do not covet wordly goods
jobbing
twats