v's virtual vacuum
Tuesday, Sept. 06, 2005
why do I have a tear in my eye?
Subject: sorry :(Date: Tue, 06 Sep 2005 18:27:09 +0000
I hate myself for being so chicken that I have to write this � that I cant just say it out loud to you � but I want to gather my thoughts whilst I am writing.
I�ll cut to the chase � I don�t think that there is a relationship in our friendship.
I like you, I enjoy the passion but I don�t love you and I don�t think I ever will. I wish I did, I wish I could change it � but I don�t think I can.
I�m being this brutal as I know we both have very difficult lives and in particular yours is going to become more challenging over the next few weeks and months. I don�t want my actions to impact negatively on you at some point in the middle of all of that. A clean break is, in my mind, far better. Sooner rather than later too?
This is really awkward to write and is super messy � I wish I could pretty it up a little and make it less harsh � but I don�t know how to, so forgive me for my approach even if you don�t forgive the situation.
I know you'll be hurting and I am honestly sorry - my heart hopes that you see the sense in this and that you realise its the right thing for both of us long term.
I had a great time at the weekend and really enjoyed being with you, thank you for that :)
Vx
Duly read.... and you cannot possibly expect me to be HAPPY about this.
Ultimately its up to me if I think something will negatively impact on my life. However, you have made that decision and I shall still respect it.
Good luck, hope you feel better soon and that you mother continues to recover from the traumas of the past 18 months.
Rob