v's virtual vacuum
Tuesday, Jan. 24, 2006
I've put on and need to shift it. gah.
had a great weekend with the boy - but already I worry that i am not gonna be able to sustain this. my depression plays cruel cruel tricks on me reminding me that he'll be taken from me at some stage either cos I am horrible or down to some evil greater force. he's flown to germany this morning from stansted so I had him here yesterday working from home which was lovely and he is back wednesday night so is gonna try and wangle working from home thurs and friday too bless him. thats of course as long as he doesnt die. yup. thats the kind of thing my depression tells me. I am fighting it off and havent quite taken to my bed just yet (that said I am actually typing this from under the duvet but thats cos its cold!)its interesting being me. sometimes. mostly it just annoys the fuck outta me when I have stupid thoughts like that.
in other news Im having my loft insulated for free next monday. I have read the riot act sort of to the phone company and have switched my service provider back to bt, I have changed my mobile phone tarrif to save �10 per month and my broadband to save the same. I am trying to avoid spending hard cash where possible at the moment so we will be living out of the freezer and cupboards for a few days. i have though, bought a coach ticket from loughborough to colchester for �9 so I can go with liam to his mates birthday do on feb 11. its annoying cos I have to be in court on the monday otherwise I'd have stayed with liam until the wednesday as we have hotel booked for valentines day the monday and tuesday nights awwww.
I cant remember what all else I was gonna get y'all up to speed with - other than mums social worker person is coming round today to discuss housing. and her enablement person and a student trainee person will be here with too. so I am making chocolate brownies. and then. then I am going to lose weight. yup. ;)