v's virtual vacuum
Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
cha-cha-cha-chaaaanges
I'm kinda sad at the moment. once agian my mum is not speaking to me - this is an age old tradition in my life - the only thing that varies is the time of year - but it will usually be around about the time of a major holiday. christmas, easter, new year or one of the bank holidays.its not that shes not speaking to me thats making me sad. its that still, after 36 years of this, it gets to me, thats what makes me sad.
this is pretty much it for her as far as I am concerned. I am making plans to sell my flat and move to loughborough to be with liam and if that goes ahead then the chances are my relationship with m mother will be set aside forever. I cant deal with this level of treatment anymore. I am not a child, and neither is she, and even when I was a child, to go for days at a time being ignored was hellish.
no wonder I live with paranoia.
my eyes are watering as I type this. I dont think I am actually crying, its almost a resignation rather than a sadness in reality.
lifes a bitch eh? then you marry one, apparently.