Thursday, May. 12, 2005
hello mellow
gem is right - I am happy - sort of serene - its this whole having a goal thing. for years (pre my diaryland time) I had goals, things to aim for - things I wanted and targets i was setting for myself. the trouble was, the more I set - the more I achieved and the more upset I got. I went through a time where I was totally the golden child. i could do no wrong. and then I crashed and burned. and now. I am content. if things could stay like this forever I wouldnt be unhappy. this moment in time is happy peaceful contented bliss. I feel loved and cared for - I know I have good friends and not so good friends. I have reached a point in my life where I am able to stop spending time with people who give off bad energy and I am prepared to walk away from negative situations without taking it to personally and without getting those awful paranoid delusions that ruled my life for a time. the only sad thing is that I cant keep thinking up the goals, because fo some reason I feel guilty about trying to achieve. I have no idea what thats all about so lets not go there with trying to anaylse it. lets just be hapy that I am calm and content right now and hope to be fo about the next three to five weeks :)
10:24 pm
and my toes
a brief run down.
do not covet wordly goods
jobbing
twats